Sacred Absence

A Pilgrimage of Love, Loss & Grieving Well

“Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating…”

-Jan Richardson, Blessing for the Brokenhearted

WIDOW

Each day she rises to a hundred thresholds.

Stares forward. Stares backward. Feels the tension.

That daily tug of war that leaves a heart

already torn apart so much harder to heal.

Shall I stay or shall I go?

Do I keep it or give it away?

Can I lie here…maybe never get up?

Is he nearby? Was that just him

Or coincidence?

Can I smile or is that betrayal? Will I be alone or find companionship?

How do I bear what feels unbearable?

Will I stay the same person or become…what?

Every morning she rises to both good-bye and hello. One day she will rise and greet only herself.

Cindy Steffen 2017